Recently I’ve been studying NLP (Neural-Linguistic Programming) as a way of controlling my senses. There’s multiple reasons reasons why someone might want to control their senses, but let’s just say that it helps in a lot of situations. These can range from communicating with others better to improving first reactions. One of the things that I have learned through NLP is what is called the New Behavior Generator.

New Behavior Generator

Everyone has emotions. Some people wear them on their sleeves while others have learned how to contain them by putting up walls. For many, memories bring up emotions that they seemingly can’t control. It’s obvious that good memories bring good emotions and bad memories bring bad emotions. Sometimes remembering or constantly being reminded of a situation can even even lead to depression. But what if I was to tell you that there’s actually a strategy that you can practice that can make bad memories less intense? What if I was to also say that this same process can help you take better actions in the future? That is what the New Behavior Generator can do for you and this is how it works.

1. In first person, recall a situation where you felt unresourceful. This can be any situation where in hindsight you thought that you could have handled the situation differently and it would have had better results.

2. While standing, take a deep breath and physically step back. This will lessen the intensity of your emotions.

3. Evaluate the situation and select a model. From your current position, think of yourself (in third person) in the situation that you’d like to improve. Think about what exactly went wrong. Were you up in someone’s face when you could have had more tact? Could you have acted calm when you were anxious? Take note of that. Now think of someone else that might have done better in that situation. Think of what they would say and how they would act.

4. See yourself making this behavior change. In your best impersonation of the model, do what they did.

5. Ecology Check. Does this change of behavior make sense in this situation? Did it fix the problem or make it worse? If it made it worse, repeat step 3 and select another model.

6. Associate. Walk forward to your original position and put yourself in this new position. See yourself in the first person making this new response. If it would help, you might consider actually making this new response.

7. Evaluate this New Response. Does it still work? If not, head  back to step 3 and choose another model.

8. Store for Future Needs – Let this over ride your previous memories! The more you think of you in the new situation, the more you’ll rewrite.

As with everything else, you should practice this. It will definitely help in the long run.