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How to Deal with Self-Doubt In Your Career

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Just recently listened to the following podcast via the Fizzle crew,

… and it really got me thinking about how people go through episodes of self doubt. Self doubt is, by no means, limited to those of us who are interested in becoming full time entrepreneurs. It happens to all of us.

When we get new jobs or think about major life changes (having kids, buying a new house, or losing a parent) we think about how that will effect us as a person. For me, I was always worrying about if I could ever find the right career to suit who I was as a person. Today, I struggle with wondering if and when New Inception’s audience is ever going to grow enough so that we can make an impact in a million lives. Who are the people I need to meet and connect with the most?

Another thing I think about from time to time is future kids cramping Maria’s and my future career and life… or adding fuel for me to get stuff done. Brian would be the first one to say that kids are awesome. I’ve heard many people say that the reason they work so hard is because of their kids. They’ve made their kids their reason, not their excuse. However, I’ve seen time and time again where kids have made their parents a shell of a person that they once were. Here I am, at the ripe age of 34, and I still think that the phrase “my kids” is just as alien as saying “my mansion”. Is it something I’d like someday? Yeah, sure. Just after I get my Ferrari.

Feeling like I know myself too well, sometimes I feel that my visions and goals are just out of my reach. Like a better version of me could obtain them. But this version? Yeah right.

However, for us to get anywhere in life, I think we have to develop a little bit of, what Corbett called it, delusional thinking. That we can do anything we want to do. Furthermore, I think we can also attack self doubt with a little framework that I heard about a few years ago. It’s called the Question Your Worrying Model.

Getting Past Self-Doubt in Your Career

The following particulars ways of dealing with Self-Doubt are from when I was studying for a final back at Purdue one time. I had several successful years under my belt already, so I knew I could pass classes. It was just that this particular class had already really stretched me. So as a way to distract myself, I started thinking about ways that I had been able to do well on past finals. This is what I came up with:

Recognize that you’re probably not the first one. When it comes to finals, I wasn’t the first one that ever freaked out about them. Today, I usually can talk myself out of much of my self-doubt because I’m pretty sure there have been others before me that have probably had this same concern.

Question Your Doubt. This is another great reason to keep a journal. If you ever have a self-doubt that keeps coming up, perhaps it would help if you keep track of past times when you’ve had self-doubts. Ask yourself, is this the same one as before? Is it realistic? What do you think is causing it? Once you go through this deep thought once, in the future, it’ll be that much easier to deal with it.

Celebrate Your Successes. The truth is that you’ve probably have had plenty of success in your life to draw from support. If you’ve done your homework and have celebrated them as you’ve had them, recounting them should be easy. Thinking about them will bring back positive emotional support. That said, even if you can’t think of anything off the top of your head, realize that it’s almost statistically impossible that you even exist in the first place. (Check the accompanying info-graphic for proof.)

Seek out mentors, teachers, and other support. I’m not sure about you, but I occasionally get paranoid about my interpersonal skills. I think that maybe I’m coming off differently than I hope people see me. I guess that’s just the introvert in me double thinking every word. Totally task oriented at times.

When I feel that I might be doing this, I seek others to see if I was too “focused”. I can tell you, even on my weekly first of the week talk with Brian and Jon today, I was definitely more focused on what had to get done this week other than the things that they were having to go through this week and next.

More on that point, when I feel that I I’m seriously struggling with a perspective on something, I’ll generally have a discussion with Frank (who’d I consider a mentor of mine) for verification or clarification.

Relax and focus on something else. Sometimes breaks are needed. You’d be surprised how many times you can just walk away from whatever has you worrying for 5 or 10 minutes (or an evening) and come back to it refreshed. You might even wonder why it had you down in the first place. Truly, sometimes you really need to sleep on it.

Face your fears. We always dread about the worst that can happen in certain instances that cause self-doubt. However, the catch is that the worst thing will probably not happen. Instead of running from your fears, get mad (or at least frustrated) and ask yourself how long is this fear of what probably won’t happen going to keep me from achieving what I want to do? You’d be surprised in how many times I’ve surprised myself with how well something went when all I did was just try it.

Talk yourself into it! In my last post, I shared a story of Brendon Burchard’s about how he had a student in a speech class one time and she eventually was able to go from being a super quiet girl to getting in front of her peers and giving a speech. Part of that journey was giving herself a pep talk as others were comforting her.

Even though the others were there, she was listening to herself. This is what I mean by coaching yourself. Telling yourself “You got this.” does wonders. Give yourself an idea of what success looks like. Is it yourself in a new job? Is it you giving a presentation and everyone is smiling? Just Do It!

Set some goals. I mean, I feel that we might have covered this one several times too many in the podcast recently, but hey, you might be new here and I want to make sure you get it. When it comes to goals, you can make goals for what you envision OR just an obstacle itself. However, I feel that this part is huge in actually getting things done.

Homework:

So as you can see, self-doubt happens all the time. Be it in school, at the job, or if you’re starting a business (hell, even if you have already). The key is to learn how to manage those negative emotions. We’d love to hear from you in regards to this. If you have any further tactics in dealing with self-doubt, let me know! You can do so below OR… let us know in the New Inceptions Masterminder Facebook Group.

How to Find Your Voice

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Let’s start with a story by Brendon Burchard as he recounts his days as being a TA back in college:

I love this message. It’s one of my favorite inspirational messages about getting confidence in one’s self. After hearing this story, it’s so easy to understand how developing your voice can boost your self confidence. I know first hand.

Finding Your Voice Helps You Gain Confidence

There was a time where I couldn’t say a word in front of a classroom. In fact, it was hard for me to just read in class.

I was literally afraid of what people thought of me. If I made a goof up in my reading, I believed they’d think “Oh, that’s just John being John. What a screw up!” Little did I think about the kids who really were bad at reading but they didn’t care as much as I did.

Later, in college as I was starting to find myself, I was still petrified of what people thought. This was the new me. The real caring me. Sad to say, the more I cared, the worse I did. In fact, I’d say that Speech class, and the two times that I had to defend my major projects (senior and thesis in grad school) were times where I couldn’t help but be a deer in headlights. I knew my future was riding on it and I didn’t want to screw up. So, like anyone else that is seriously focused on their responsibility, I over compensated and did worse than I would have if I hadn’t had tried to be perfect.

After graduation, I became an algebra instructor a year later. There’s a couple things about that. First, I hadn’t had algebra in 7 years at that point. And second, I was still deathly worried about speaking in front of people. Let alone, a classroom of people. However, I always knew I wanted to be a teacher. So I had to deal with this problem.

In the end, teaching algebra for a couple of years taught me how to be myself in front of others. I believe that doing it repeatedly finally made me face my fear and deal with it. Was I the best? No. But was I able to break that “Deer in headlights” look? You bet.

How You Can Find Your Voice

You know, I’m sure there are other ways that people have found their voice over the years. But I just wanted to share with you how I was able to find mine while teaching algebra.

  • Accept that you have one. You know, many times I hear people talking about how no one ever showed that they cared about what that person had to say. This was the case in Brendon’s story. Well, John Maxwell has a saying that I think covers a lot of things, not just leadership. He says, “People don’t know how much you know, until they know how much you care”. This saying exactly reflects what Brendon did for his student. Likewise, when I focused on the fact that I had students that needed me to teach them how to do a certain skill to pass a class and the fact that they relied on me to teach them that skill, that’s when I started realizing that not only did I have a voice, but my voice mattered. If I did not realize that they relied on me, I probably would have been a horrible teacher.
  • Learn How to Be Present and Listen to the world around you. What do others say that you’re knowledgable about? What do others ask you about all the time? Knowing the answers to these two questions should help you realize that you have a certain subject and subjects that you can teach others about.
  • Realize that you know what you know. This was my major hang up. I focused so much on making sure that I knew everything and all the little questions that I wasn’t able to focus on the big picture – that people were comprehending what I was saying. Did people comprehend what I was teaching? It’s ok to not know the answer sometimes if it makes you more understandable. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be to convey your message in a way that resonates. It’s ok if your audience ask questions. It’s called feedback.
  • Be Relatable. Speaking of resonating, another part of having an impactful voice is to be authentic. I can tell you that if I was just regurgitating everything that was in the book, I probably wasn’t focusing too much on what the students were asking. So, I had to make sure that I was relatable. While I struggled at times, I found that the more stories or examples I used in class to explain a concept, the more likely the students were to understand what I was talking about. That said, how can you be relatable in your voice? In other words, how can you keep yourself from sounding like a robot?
  • Take Your Time. There’s a certain truth about things being rushed. What results have you had when you’ve been rushed? Some say that they do well under pressure. That might be ok with you. Personally, I know I haven’t had as good as results when I’m rushed vs not being rushed. Last week, we released a podcast about being proactive vs being reactive. Those who work reactively are more than likely being rushed to accomplish something. On the other hand, those that are working proactively do so in a more leisurely manner. Either way, when you take your time to get your message out, then you come across as being confident with what you’re saying. This will earn you more listeners.

 

Homework:

If you really want to find your voice and figure out why people should be listening to you, try the above. You might not have a class that you can teach, but there are other organizations that will allow you to practice speaking. One of those is Toastmasters. There’s chapters all around the world.

Another idea would be to simply create your own group or meetup. As it grows, you’d know everyone that became part of the group. Or, if you don’t want to wait that long, you can join another one. As you get to know more people in the group, you might not be so afraid of them over time.

If you’re someone who recently was able to find their voice. We’d love to hear from you, too! How’d you do it? What steps did I leave out above that would help someone else build their confidence?

Breaking out of the Scarcity Mindset By Applying the Law of Abundance

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“Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

“Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you first see inside of you.” – Wally Amos

A Few Definitions:

(I’ll meet you on the other side of them.)

Law of Attraction:

States that you attract what you focus your attention on – whether positive or negative. Think of ways that the law of attraction affects your life right now. Do you regularly think of how you fail with the opposite sex? This will result in you continuing to fail.

The same is true of wealth, happiness, success in your career and anything else you focus on.

Your mind has the power to manifest that which you strongly believe. When you focus on something strongly enough, you make it a reality, so our goal is to harness that power to create a better life.

Law of Scarcity:

An economic system cannot produce all goods and services that consumers want, and most consumers do not have the resources to purchase everything they want. Furthermore, choices must be made about how limited resources (time, money, etc.) are used.

Law of Abundance:

A sub-law of the Law of Attraction. It states that there is enough wealth in the world for everyone to have enough money and resources to live fulfilling lives.

First Thing’s First

I want you to know that this particular post might be confusing. In fact, I’m writing the thing and I still find it confusing. However, if there’s anything I want you to get from this post it’s this:

“Whatever the Mind can see and believe, the Mind can achieve.” – Napolean Hill

Of Nature and Man

“The Creator did not intend for us to be scrubs, and certainly that is not the example that he sets for us.. The essence of the Law of Abundance is that we must believe in abundance.” – Sterling W. Sill

When the Founding Fathers made the Declaration of Independence, they wrote Man had certain Rights. Specifically they wrote, “they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” 

Now let me pose a question to you.

Since many of us believe that Natural Laws are how the Creator governs, wouldn’t it make since that what goes for Nature should be good for Man?

I’m not saying that we should go total caveman and not have laws that Man makes up as we go. Instead, I’m simply saying that Nature’s laws are the foundation of how the world works and Man’s laws fill in the gaps from there. We can’t change how Nature works – so why try?

Imperfect Laws of Man

If Nature is so abundant (which it is, take anything that produces fruit for example), why is it that we limit ourselves to a world of scarcity? I believe it’s because we choose not to live by Nature’s laws but instead, by Man made laws. (In fact, we’ve been moving farther and farther away from Natural Laws.)

The problem with doing that is because Man, as we know, is imperfect. And because he’s imperfect, he’s going to make imperfect laws. Most laws that we create will ultimately cause some other problem that we’ll have to create another law for OR we’ll have to get rid of the previous law all together (Prohibition anyone?).

Take the tax code for example. It could have started off simple but as years go by, it has gotten larger and larger. Why? Because tax, in itself, isn’t natural. So we’ve had to fill in ever smaller and smaller gaps.

Another man made law that’s obviously imperfect and that we’re all familiar with is segregation. Whoever thought that separating people because of their skin color was a good idea was just straight out wrong.

Scarcity is one of these laws as well. Does Supply and Demand makes sense? On the surface it might. I mean, as supply goes down, demand goes up. Wait a second. Was it that when demand goes up that supply goes down? That doesn’t seem right either.

Hmmm… well let’s take a look at an example we’re familiar with: gas prices.

A few years ago, gas was hovering at nearly $4 a gallon here in the States. This was because OPEC wanted as much money as they could get. Demand stayed the same, supply fell, thus the price rose. Ok. Makes sense for them to cut the supply from their perspective. However, now at $2.25 a gallon, we’re seeing OPEC produce like there’s no tomorrow. Why is that? Many sources say it’s because no one can agree on a universal price point. Others might say that they want to cripple other countries around the world including Russia, China, Canada, and the US.

Either way, it’s human intervention. Just by definition, it’s imperfect if not downright confusing!

(Actually, I might go out on a limb and say that Scarcity isn’t a law in itself, it’s actually a lack of law or lack of understanding in how the Law of Abundance works.)

Applying the Law of Abundance (or Attraction)

Now that we’ve looked at why Natural Laws are the laws that we should have high interest in following and why Man made laws are just plain ridiculous at times, let’s look at how we can actually APPLY the Law of Attraction in our lives.

For one, I’m not about to tell you that you simply need to focus on what you want in your life. If only it were that simple. I mean, I love Napoleon Hill, but dude, c’mon. Just thinking about something all day is called day dreaming. Besides the focus, you have to act.

So what kind of actions am I talking about?

First, you need to create a Vision Board (or have a REALLY good idea of what you’re looking for). Not sure how to make one? Next, you need to create a plan to get there. After that, you have to do that work. (If you’re just doing work to do work, then you better be following someone else’s plan or you might find yourself going in circles.)

Scenario 1 – The New Graduate: Let’s say you want to start simple at getting a good job out of school. What is it going to take to get you there? Four things: Good grades in college, a good resume and cover letter, and… NETWORKING! You’ve probably heard of all of these at some point and yes you have to do them all, but the one you really need to create a plan for is networking. If you’re desired job is to work for say… Facebook, how are you going to get there? It’s just not going to happen. Who do you need to talk to? Get that Vision Board going (start with a big ol’ picture of Facebook HQ) and then start working back to where you are now. This is going to involve research in who you should talk to and what job fairs you need to go to, but it’s totally doable.

Scenario 2 – Career Transition: Alright, you’ve had your first job and you want to make a larger impact. What next? Wait to be promoted? Leave the company? Start your own business? Join another startup first? There’s different ways you could go here. Let’s say we want to start our own business but we don’t know if we can handle it. Great, let’s join another startup for a couple of years and get some experience. (Hey, it’s what I did!)

Preferably, you shouldn’t join a company that does what you want to do. Otherwise, you might burn some bridges when you leave (if that’s your plan). But just like the first time, let’s get that job with a plan. Another thing you might consider here is if you want to be a full time employee or work as a 1099 contractor. As a full time employee you’ll have benefits, but you’ll have less options to do outside work. As a contractor, you’ll be in charge of ALL your taxes, but you’ll be able to write off expenses. There’s pros and cons in both.

Scenario 3 – Start Your Own Business: Time to start your own business! Some things to consider here: what kind of business is it going to be? How much would you like to be making? Are you looking at a deep foundation (like I am with New Inceptions)? Are there any similar businesses out there that you can model after?

These are all things you’ll need to think about. If there are similar businesses out there, see if you can’t do some research in how they got from point A to point B. If it’s an online business, use the Way Back Machine to see if you can get some clues in how they started. If you’re doing something new or just want a community to help you, you might want to consider joining Fizzle to help you out. If you’re planning on going old school brick and mortar, do some market research first. Is there an interest in your area of what you’re doing? Would it be best if you started elsewhere? Maybe start online first and then go brick and mortar? Lots of choices.

Either plan you go, you need to put in the work. And we’re here for you anytime you need help in figuring out the next step.

Homework:

So which scenario above best describes you? If you don’t think any of them do, let us hear what your particular situation is. Also, feel free to let us know how you’ve used the Law of Abundance (or Attraction) to get ahead in the past or how you’re currently using it!

AoL 004: Mixing Passions in with a Hectic Work Schedule with Sean Webster

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Many people struggle with maintaining a work life balance. In fact, there’s some jobs out there that will almost prohibit you from having a life. (I’m thinking those who work in factories, and other 12 hour shift type places when I say that.)

Other jobs, while not necessarily super demanding, just don’t have a set schedule and that can really play havoc on trying to set a normal schedule to life related activities.

Today, we speak with Sean Webster about this topic. He’s the Sales and Marketing Manager for People’s Brewing Company out of Lafayette, Indiana. As someone who does sales, you have to make yourself available when your customers are. And his customers can have all kinds of schedules. So this leads to a hectic work schedule!

In this session we find out how Sean manages to do his job well (and he does!) while maintaining a regular training routine as a endurance athlete and other life related activities.

His answer is not “Oh, you have to set priorities.” In fact, I find it to be a better answer than that.

What are your secrets for maintaining a work life balance? If you have problems doing so, why is that? Join us as we discuss how you make your job a job that doesn’t keep you from things you like doing!

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN:

  • Why Sean considers himself an “outgoing introvert”
  • What he thinks of fellow Millennials and what advantages we have as a generation.
  • Why people saying that they don’t like beer brings out his competition.
  • Three essential keys of being successful.
  • Why your GPA and degree isn’t actually the biggest thing you can get out of going to college.
  • Why it’s important to have something that you enjoy in life.
  • How he comes up with his weekly schedule.

…and much more!

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRA:

If you’re in the Indiana area and are interested in getting ahold of Sean to see what he can do for your business, party, or event he wants to hear from you! Call him using the information on his card:

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Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining me again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, and/or Soundcloud. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us as we embark on this journey.

Cheers!

AoL 003: 6 Key Methods in Dealing with Frustrating People

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This week’s session is a topic session. If you’re familiar with the Fizzle Show at Fizzle, then you’ll be familiar with the format of this particular show.

That said, in this session we talk about dealing with frustrating people. You know, people can frustrate us for a number of reasons and a number of ways. Maybe they’re not doing something a certain way. Maybe they’ve let things get out of control. Perhaps they’re not making the experience as enjoyable as it could be. People just rub us the wrong way sometimes.

The key is that you don’t want to come across as the perpetrator by acting out. So these methods (or maybe they’re steps or ways…?) will hopefully help you to not only deal with the person, but keep you sane in the process.

Do you have any annoyingly frustrating people in your life? Perhaps you’re wondering if you need to kick them out of it all together? Listen in today as we discuss the process of coping with those that would drive you crazy.

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN:

  • 6 Key Methods of Dealing with Frustrating People (Did I mention they’re key?)
  • Why you should probably only focus on 5 of those methods (the last one is a doozie!)
  • Why it’s important on the issue and not the other person.
  • Why it’s important to not take seriously what others think of you.
  • and much more!

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRA:

If you’re ever considering doing a podcast, you might want to know that it’s good form to have about 8 sessions ready for the “launch” date. There’s a couple of reasons for this. One, 8 weeks is how long a podcast can be on New & Noteworthy on the iTunes Store. Also, to get on that New & Noteworthy listing, you want to have released 3 or 4 sessions close to each other at the beginning. It’s also good to give yourself a few weeks of buffer so that if you have conflicts arise, you won’t be losing an entire week during the start of your show. Record in bunches if at all possible! (This is the reason that I referred to a post that was released 5 weeks ago! Gotta get ready for that launch.)

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining me again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes and Stitcher. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us as we embark on this journey.

Cheers!

AoL 002: Don’t Let Your Past Dictate Your Future with Trin A’Marti

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This week’s episode puts a spotlight on one of the friends of the show: Katrina A’Marti. In the future, Katrina (aka Trin) will be helping us with the topic editions of the podcast. In the meantime, though, we thought we’d introduce her as a fellow student of entrepreneurship.

Like so many other solopreneurs and people trying to find their passion, she stumbled into the world of business. Also like many of us, she did so because she wasn’t fully appreciated in the day job world.

In this session, Trin discusses her background and how she got to where she is today. Part of that being the constant love-hate relationship she has with her culture. She offers a few insights into how she stays motivated and who and what she calls her biggest motivators.

You’ll also hear what she’s looking forward to achieving in her new business Meaning & Co. (which at the time of this recording was called ThoughtWhisper).

Do you have issues with leaving the 9 to 5 world? Are you worried about others will think of you if you started your own thing? Take a listen to what Trin has to say. I guarantee you’ll be inspired.

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN:

  • How she could have easily hid from who she is by letting her Asian culture conform her.
  • What were the important influencers that got her started down her path of self-development.
  • What therapy has done for her and her career.
  • How she’s managed to keep her inner hippy happy.
  • and much more!

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

The last question “What Does Success Mean To You” was stolen from the School of Greatness Podcast. The reason we include it is because it’s interesting to see what success means to people at various levels in their career – not just at the top.

What does success mean to you? Let us know in the comments below!

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining me again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes and Stitcher. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us as we embark on this journey.

Cheers!

Tribute to Scott Dinsmore: Making Life Decisions with Your Dreams in Mind

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“It’s insecurity that is always chasing you and standing in the way of your dreams.” – Vin Diesel

I heard the news last Tuesday night about Scott Dinsmore’s passing after I had published the last post. If you didn’t know who Scott was and what he was about, then you need to watch the above video just to get a glimpse into how he lead his life. Talk about passion.

There are many tribute pieces to him around the web from some of his closest friends.

So I’ll let them speak about what he personally meant to them:

Personally, I didn’t know Scott too much. I’ve learned more about him after his passing than I did when he was still around. I feel it is extremely unfortunate. I feel as if I have lost a friend that I didn’t get to know because we had such a similar passion in helping others release their inner passions.

I was going through his posts to get more of a feel for the guy. And I have to admit that this recent one struck me in particular:

How to Avoid Making the Wrong Big Decisions (like choosing the wrong path).

When it came to making big life decisions, he didn’t believe that you had to jump completely in. In fact, he believed that we should simply test the waters before we go all into big life decisions.

I couldn’t agree more.

Yet, some of us will find fault with even doing just that much. We might have chosen a path because that’s what we felt was ultimately the best choice based on personal bias and beliefs. Does that make it truly the best one for us?

The truth is while we want to choose the right path for us, we all have personal biases that will make it easier to stay on the path we are currently on. Many times that “auto-path” is dictated by external forces which don’t know or care about the life we’re trying to lead.

“If we don’t know what we’re looking for, we’re never going to find it.” – Scott Dinsmore

Seeing Life Decisions From Different Angles

We all know that sometimes we don’t feel like we’re free to just “do our own thing”. Especially when it comes to making decisions regarding our careers.

In fact, here are some thoughts you might be having which prohibit you from following your dreams:

  • I’m sacrificing my dreams so my kids don’t have to.
  • I’m doing this because it was what my parents always wanted to do, but didn’t get the chance to.
  • I chose this career, and damn it, hell or high water, I’m going to make it work!
  • I don’t want to waste MORE time getting ANOTHER degree!

Do any of these sound familiar? I know that I have several friends that subscribe to the first one. I know a few who claim the second. And I was definitely a candidate for the third and fourth reasons myself.

Are these actually true? Or are these self imposed restraints and beliefs that we’ve placed to protect ourselves from potential future “failures”? Where did we get these ideas? Were they from us or others?

To find out the best path in life for you, you need to be able to see the problem from multiple angles and even more specifically, how does it affect your overall life goals? Each one of the above statements could be reframed as a question in regards to your personal goals.

  • If I want to be a good role model for my kids, how is not following my dreams being a good example?
  • Is the world the same as it was when my parents wanted to have that role? Even so, why should I let them dictate what I do?
  • Am I letting my pride and ego get the best of me? Why can’t I be the next great story of someone making a big transition?
  • What if you’re wasting more time (and money) by not following your true gifts? Also, who said anything about getting another degree?

However, if you don’t know what you want out of life and your career, then you won’t ask yourself these types of questions.

With these questions asked, will you think differently about your situation? I’m sure you will. (In fact, these last two questions are what have helped set me free of my old path.)

It’s when you start asking questions like these and questioning the status quo on goals in life, whether or not your current path is working out for you or not. Don’t let your personal bias and your past dictate your future. Be open, present, and truthful with yourself when making big decisions.

Homework:

The next time you feel yourself thinking about a big life decision and coming to a conclusion, ask yourself if you looked at it from every angle you could think of in regards to it affecting your life goals.

Was it a signing up for a mini-marathon? Was it about getting more serious with your current significant other? Was it about taking a job that paid more?

Naturally, without knowing specific goals, these all seem like they would be good things in your life to do if you have the opportunity.

But that might not be the case:

If you sign up for a mini-marathon too late and unprepared, your body isn’t going to appreciate it. You just can’t wing it.

If you want to get more serious with someone you have conflicts with regularly… is that the best person you could get serious with?

If a job is going to pay more but it makes you relocate AND makes you work more hours – is that really helping you towards your goals and aspirations?

Next time you have a great opportunity, think more about how it affects the dreams that you’ve set out to achieve, and less about the immediate impact of it.