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important life lessons

5 Important Life Lessons I Learned from My Dogs

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Back in February I wrote about the loss of my dog, Sadie. She was so cool and VERY laid back about things in general. Other than me needing to feed her, she was a pretty independent (and stubborn!) girl.

That was in stark contrast to my other girl, Sable.

Sable has always been high maintenance. Maria would said say she was spoiled as a puppy.

There was good reason for this… and it all started the first night I had her back at Purdue.

That night, she wouldn’t stop whining when everyone went to bed. Of course, it might have had something to do with the fact that we put her in the back room away from everyone.

I tried so hard to keep her out there. But she was so persistent! Eventually I caved in and brought her into my room. It wasn’t long after that she learned she could get practically anything she wanted by asking for it. Including sleeping on my bed!!

From that point, she became one of the most vocal dogs I’ve ever known.

 

Almost two weeks ago, on Thursday June 21st, I had to let her cross the Rainbow Bridge.

Like her sister, she had been fighting cancer for a long time. While it wasn’t until recently we found out that it was lung cancer, we did know she had developed it because she started having seizures in late 2017.

She was having a heck of a time that last week and it was so hard to make that decision as it hadn’t been that long since I lost Sadie. However, anything that the veterinarians could do was a Hail Mary at that point.

I knew I had to make the call. I never had it in me to see her suffer – even as a pup.

So she’s now with her sister at Mom’s dog park in the sky.

Love you and miss you both, Girly Girls.

important life lessons

Princess Sadie and Duchess Sable – My Girly Girls

Traveling – A Great Time to Reflect

The next day, I had to hop on a flight to San Diego to meet up with Maria in the El Centro / Mexicali area. I hadn’t seen her in a couple of weeks – so it was certainly something to look forward to.

As I was traveling down there and back, I had time to think about how I was going to memorialize Sable’s passing.

With Sadie, I wrote about the grieving process. In there, you’ll see that my grieving process includes being creative in some way as a tribute.

For this tribute, I’m going to share some things I picked up from the two of them over the years.

 

Persistence Pays Off

As I’ve mentioned, Sable had a way of getting what she wanted. Not only did she start barking at someone if she wanted something bad enough, but she’d always outsmart her sister when Sadie was chewing or playing with something.

The biggest power move she had in this situation was when she acted as if she didn’t want Sadie’s toy. She’d walk over to someone for a butt scratch. When she got it, Sadie noticed and came over too (she was a butt scratch addict!!). Right away, Sable would run over to whatever Sadie had been working on and wouldn’t give it back!

They taught me that if you want something, just become the squeaky wheel!

Forgiveness and Living in the Moment

For the longest time, I had problems forgiving people. I took a lot of hurt around with me wherever I went.

When I went to Purdue, I wanted to become a new version of myself. However, my old habits kept me in a mental jail cell which prevented me from fully experiencing life at another level. It wasn’t really until my mom passed in 2010, that I started becoming my current self. It was then that I realized you have to live your own life – despite what you might perceive others expect of you. That was something she hadn’t done. She lived in her own mental prison herself, and most of it was self inflicted.

When I was suddenly in charge of both girls, I noticed that despite all the change that was going on, they were content and happy. They lived in the moment. They weren’t concerned with what people thought of them. And they didn’t hold aggressions with neighbors who yelled at them for being on their property.

My girls were just themselves. They taught me to just be me.

 

It’s Going to Be Okay

When I was going through that transition period between losing Mom in 2010 and marrying Maria in 2013, I still wasn’t sure what I was going to do when I grew up. On one hand, I felt that I had to live the life I went to school for. On the other hand, I realized that most of the time I was in school, I was simply doing what was expected of me.

I was expected to have a successful career.

And to be frank, I had no feeling of what success meant. The only things I had success in I had help achieving – I had guidance. I was now in the real world… and struggling!

But whenever I was with them after getting home from a long day of work – I was at piece. As long as I lived day to day and not sweat the details, things were going to work out.

It’s truly amazing what happens when you have this perspective.

Things will work out. Maybe not the way you plan for in the beginning – but they work out.

 

Take Time for Daily Exercise

One of the things that the girls wouldn’t let me forget about, especially between 2010 and 2016 was that they needed their daily walks. During those years in particular, we’d walk in the heat and cold. They didn’t care. Between 3 to 5 pm, they’d expect their walk.

Especially Sable. She was always on a mission to get to where we were going. She barely stopped to smell scents!

While I might not have been ready to take a break yet, it was during these walks that I was able to just think about things. I’d come back even more focused to wrap up the day on a good note.

I need to start getting Max on that same schedule. Unfortunately, we’ve had a pretty hot summer and he has had very little interest in being outside for long!

 

Pay Attention to Those You Love

My last Labrador, Shadow, passed when she was 10 years old. Like Sable and Sadie, she had developed cancer. Her mass was on her shoulder and it was super unbearable. In fact, she was in so much pain that she wouldn’t even try to move to go outside.

Knowing their life expectancy was around that 10 year mark, I started paying attention to them when they got to be about 8 and 9 years old. Often, I’d wake up in the middle of the night in a panic, wondering if they were still with us.

Thankfully, they were.

In retrospect, I think because of this fear and appreciating them as they ran to the door each day as I got home, I had a lot of good quality time with them. That’s actually a comfort for me now as I grieve.

In a time when we’re all glued to our digital devices or work, it seems like it’s getting harder and harder to spend this time with our loved ones.

Take the time to appreciate your close ones on a regular basis. You never know when the last time will be.

 

Action Steps

Nothing really deep here, guys. If you have doggos yourself, give them an extra strong hug for me when you see them next. Appreciate them.

For those of you who might have recently lost your own furry friends, is there anything they taught you?

Feel free to share below.

balanced lifestyle

Damion Lupo – Don’t Live to Work! Discover Your Own Balanced Lifestyle (AoL 125)

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The saying goes, “If you can do it once, you can do it again!” This is especially true for us creative types who might see success with one project, but on our next, we might start seeing our metrics go down.

This session’s guest, Damion Lupo, once owned 150 single family houses as as a real estate investor. But in 2008, everything came to a grinding halt. He was no longer able to live the lavish lifestyle that he was pursuing at the time.

It was soon after that he started on a quest to put more meaning into his life.

In 2012, he coauthored a book called Reinvented Life, where he talks about many of the things he learned during that journey.

In today’s chat, we go over some of these concepts as well as some pointers that he’d give someone just starting in investing.

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • How did Damion become so resilient as an entrepreneur? 6:36
  • How does he see wealth and how can abundantly thinking people reach out to others? 10:22
  • What’s his thinking behind financial freedom and retirement? 12:23
  • Why entrepreneurs might not make the best investors. 20:20
  • If someone has a $5,000 – $10,000 to invest in something, what’s a good strategy to get started? 27:41
  • What’s the best way for someone to find great opportunities in REI? 33:28
  • What are the pillars of Yokido? 37:05
  • What does Damion believe about Elon Musk’s perspective on having a universal income? 43:45
  • Who are the three influencers that has helped Damion get to where he’s at? 51:21
  • What’s an issue that more people should be talking about? 52:01
  • If Damion woke up tomorrow as a 10 year old and all his memories were intact, what would he do? 53:17
  • Something he’d like to do in his lifetime that no one knows about? 54:18
  • What’s the secret to achieving personal freedom? 54:54

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

 

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Yokido is Born

The Financial Freedom Formula

Damion on the Bigger Pockets Podcast

Damion Interviewed by Dom Brightmon

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on Castbox, iTunes, Stitcher, Soundcloud, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

achieving the dream

Achieving the Dream – Why One Degree Makes All the Difference

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I recently got the opportunity to spend some time with Harrison and Dr. Ping up at Purdue. We had a chance to see a lot of the change that is going on around campus – and… man, there’s a lot!

While we were exploring a bit, we also paid a visit to the Triple XXX Family Restaurant. Whenever someone’s new to the area, that’s one of my go to places because it’s been a Purdue establishment since 1929. In fact, it’s such a local treasure that Guy Fieri visited it back in 2007 for his show Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.

achieving the dream

After leaving there, we went to meet up with one of my business mentors – Mike Cassidy – on campus.

As Mike was chatting with us about our plans, we came to a part of the discussion where we were talking about his students and members of the Amplify Hope program.

Something got stuck in my mind about both groups of people. I realized that they were trying to build their dreams without fully having a real plan in place. They’re doing what they’re doing because their emotions are telling them to. (That’s actually one of the things that Mike helps his students with – getting out of their own head and looking at their business objectively.)

There might be a few minor issues they’ve overlooked, but over time those minor bugs can lead to huge problems.

 

Why One Degree Can Make a Huge Difference

These minor issues might not seem like a big deal. I mean, a few minor tweaks going along the way and the problems they might cause can be mitigated, right?

Well, sure.

However, if they’re not taken care of, then we’re looking at problems that might be noticed until it’s too late.

The traditional illustration of this principle is one of distance traveled:

Let’s say you’re going somewhere and you’re off course by just one degree. After one foot, you’ll miss your target by 0.2 inches. Trivial, right? But what about as you get farther out?

 

  • After 100 yards, you’ll be off by 5.2 feet. Not huge, but noticeable.
  • After a mile, you’ll be off by 92.2 feet. One degree is starting to make a difference.
  • After traveling from San Francisco to L.A., you’ll be off by 6 miles.
  • If you were trying to get from San Francisco to Washington, D.C., you’d end up on the other side of Baltimore, 42.6 miles away.
  • Traveling around the globe from Washington, DC, you’d miss by 435 miles and end up in Boston.
  • etc…

 

See what I’m talking about?

In real life, this can mean the difference of creating a business or nonprofit that is sustainable or pursuing a mission that makes someone take a 2nd or 3rd mortgage out on their house.

The key is to not let emotions and the pursuit of passion get in the way of our own success.

 

Delusions of Passion

David Anderson and Mark Nathan spoke in detail about this in their book, The Delusion of Passion: Why Millennials Struggle to Find Success.

In the book they argue that there’s several delusions we Millennials struggle with.

  • Where there is Passion, There is No Pain
  • Where there is Passion, There are No Problems
  • Passion Precedes Total Commitment
  • You Must Be Passionate About the Process
  • Living Passionately Is all About You

When we believe one of these delusions, we’re knocking our navigation off by a degree or more from the very beginning!

 

Action Steps

If you haven’t had the chance to read this book, here’s the link. Also, I’ve had both Mark and David on the podcast to discuss their perspectives a bit further.

I imagine it’d be worth your time to see if any of these perspectives are sabotaging your efforts to get to where you want in your career in life.

entrepreneurial process

4 Phases of the Mission Driven Entrepreneurial Process

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When I restarted my own entrepreneurial process 3 years ago, I used Fizzle to help me design a roadmap of what I wanted New Inceptions to be.

Since then, I’ve realized that I was trying to build something that I couldn’t by myself. So, last summer, I started really putting an emphasis on meeting the right kinds of people to help things go bigger faster.

That’s about the time that I started doing more things locally and getting started with Amplify and C317.

Well, fast forward to today, and I have to say, there’s a lot of things I’ve learned along the way. And one of those things is that when you’re talking about scaling a business where you’re making a huge impact, you’re talking about a business that has gone through several stages to get where they’re at.

In this post, I want to share what those phases are so you have an idea of where you’re at.

 

Definition of the Entrepreneurial Process

Traditional Process

So there’s several entrepreneurial processes out there. One is the model that a lot of people know from academia or other traditional sources. It looks a little like this:

I’m not saying that this isn’t correct, but it’s not very functional. It “might” be functional if you’re in the tech entrepreneur space. But in reality, most entrepreneurs don’t focus on these topics today – especially not “Developing a business plan”!

 

Fizzle’s Three Phases

When I was in Fizzle, they had their own entrepreneurial process. It looks like this:

This is a much more practical model. And when you listen to Corbett, Chase, and Steph on their podcast, it does make a lot of sense in why they made it this way.

However, as I’ve been going back into studying other entrepreneurs out there, there seems to be an alternative path to the one above (which, I think is a great plan otherwise I wouldn’t be a proponent of theirs!).

This 4 phase path is one I wanted to share with you guys

The New Inceptions Roadmap

So, New Inceptions – what does that mean? When I first came up with it, I had recently seen the movie Inception. In the movie, we see this world where dreams happen in dreams. And if you’ve heard the podcast or talked to me in person, you might have heard that I feel that my job in life is to pull people out of mental prisons. Whether or not they put themselves there OR they’ve allowed others to put them there, they’re stuck.

So my 4 phase process includes one phase in where the focus is simply getting “unstuck”. I believe that this is is the most foundational phase and I see a lot of entrepreneurs skipping right over it as well as the next one. They start in phase 3, eventually find that they don’t like the work they’re doing or they’re simply not happy, and then have to start something again.

Our goal here is to prevent that from happening to you!

So, just to lay them out – here are the four stages:

  • Phase 1 – Set the Foundation
  • Phase 2 – Personal Mission Development
  • Phase 3 – Product and Service Development with First Customers (Start Becoming the Expert!)
  • Phase 4 – Optimization and Growth

 

Let’s take a little more of a look at them:

 

The 4 Phases of the Mission Driven Entrepreneurial Process

entrepreneurial process

Phase 1: Set the Foundation

You guys know that I’m also a huge fan of Dane Maxwell and Andy Drish’s The Foundation.

When I heard about it back in 2012, it blew me away. Up until that point, I had only really heard of the first process I presented here.

One of the things that The Foundation does a great deal of work in is helping people with their limiting beliefs.

It’s these same limiting beliefs that keep people stuck in their mental prisons.

So in this phase, a new entrepreneur should be essentially taking dumb action. Just getting a feel for what’s out there. What sounds interesting to them? What do they feel like they gravitate towards?

Another thing we need to look at is how do we communicate with ourselves and the world around us. Are we real when need to be with ourselves and others? If not, why not? Do we lump all people into one group or are we aware of the different personalities that are out there?

Also in this phase, we need to focus on moving a external locus of control to one that is a bit more internal.

This is all important stuff that needs to be thought about before we can dive into the next phase.

 

Phase 2: Create Your Personal Mission

In this phase, we’ll be looking at crafting your own personal mission.

This is a vital phase that many entrepreneurs skip over. However, time and time again, I’ve heard those from the top say they would have gotten to the top faster had they taken the time to understand what their work actually meant.

In particular, in this phase we’re looking at discovering our Passions, Purpose, and preferred Process (the 3 P’s) and how that relates to our overall mission. We’ll also be looking at all the options you could put your unique skill set towards.

And we also want to make sure we’re starting to develop our network. But we have to make sure we’re doing it strategically. There’s some key people that we need to be meeting if we want to do extraordinary things. We have to seek those folks out who have been there before.

 

Phase 3: Product and Service Development with First Customers (Start Becoming the Expert!)

Now that we’ve developed a understanding of who we are and the skills that we can bring to the market, it’s time that we actually see if someone would be willing to pay for what we can help them with.

Here’s the thing, though. It’s not about what we THINK we can help them with. It’s about what we KNOW we can help them with. And the only way to find out what we can help them with is by actually ASKING them.

Once you know what they want – how are you going to bring it to them? Are you going to get external funding or are you going to do a presale (hint: if you’re smart, you’ll do a presale before you ever lift a finger creating a service, course, SaaS, or even a physical product).

There’s a lot of moving parts in this phase. However, if you do them in the right sequence, it can be super fun.

 

Phase 4: Optimization and Growth

Once you have your first handful of customers, you’ll need to start thinking about your systems. No business became an empire without having a set way of doing things. The more automated you can make things, the more you can leverage your time… and your TEAM’s time.

So, yes. This is the stage where we start thinking about hiring people to help.

Also, if you haven’t made a website yet, then you’ll want to do that in this phase. Because when you’re marketing to the masses (regardless of how you do it), you have to give them something to go to that’s not controlled by third parties.

 

Action Steps

So, this is a lot to throw at you. And really, it depends on where you’re at in your journey. I’ve known people who were in phase 4 and ended up having to go back to phase 2 to recreate their career. In fact, the last two books I read were all about that – people who were at the “top of the world” came crashing down only to build a less stressful and much more enjoyable life.

So where are you at in your journey? Let me know where you’re starting from and I’ll help you get to the next level.

investing basics

Whitney Nicely – Real Estate Investing Made Simple: Learning the A, B, C’s of Investing Basics (AoL 123)

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If you’re an entrepreneur who’s making money passively or you’re simply interested to do so, there’s a good chance you’ve read a book called Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki.

I remember when I read that book back in 2002 – it was an eye opener. I couldn’t put the book down. Since then, it’s one of the books I’ve bought whenever I see on sale so that I can give it to other people when I see them struggling to get ahead.

What’s cool is that this particular book isn’t the only one that Robert has written. And if you spend any time reading those other books, you realize that he made a big part of his fortune early on in Real Estate.

Today’s guest is on the same path. After starting in 2013 being paid $24k a year, she now does that in a month. In fact, she actually owns more than $2.5 MILLION in real estate assets!

Personally when I saw that she’s in the business of helping others do the same, I had to jump at the chance to get her on the show.

In our chat, we talk about getting started in real estate investing and some of the common pitfalls that newbies make when they’re getting started.

If you’re thinking about getting into the investing game and not sure where to start – real estate might be a good choice.

Listen in to find out!

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • How did Whitney get started in real estate? 7:26
  • Where can people find real estate auctions to attend? 10:35
  • When did she believe that she could leave her 9 to 5 position to do real estate investing (REI) full time? 12:10
  • What’s some good advice that she’d tell someone first starting out? 14:55
  • What’s the process in finding a property to possibly buy as a someone starting out? 17:48
  • What are some mistakes that she’s see newbies make in REI? 19:31
  • How does someone scale their real estate business without getting over consumed by responsibilities? 23:20
  • How can someone find an apartment complex to buy if they have the means to? 26:35
  • What are some emotional pitfalls that can happen when you’re a landlord? 29:31
  • What’s a good strategy to use when you’re looking for places to invest in? 34:48
  • What’s she looking forward to in the near future? 37:00
  • Who are 3 influencers that have helped her get to where she’s at today? 38:42
  • Is there something that she believes is going to affect entrepreneurship or REI in the future? 41:45
  • What’s an issue that people should be talking about yet hardly anyone is? 43:17
  • Is there something that all high school students must know? 44:24
  • What’s it mean to live a life of abundance? 45:44

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

 

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Strategies to get Started:

Why Women are the Best REI’s:

Blissful Buy and Hold Houses with Moneeka Sawyer:

What’s Whitney’s Course About?

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on Castbox, iTunes, Stitcher, Soundcloud, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

a simple life

The Magic of a Simplified Life

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Over the weekend, many people all around the world watched the Royal Family’s wedding. When you think of a Royal wedding, you think of a huge production full of… well all kinds of stuff: trumpets, long dresses, swords, horses, crowns and tiaras, limos… you name it.

As much as it was advertised, many would say that you had to practically be under a rock to not have watched a part of it.

If that is the case, then consider me squashed!

I really had no interest in watching it.

If you did, then we’re cool. It’s your call to do so.

But for me, I didn’t want to watch it because it interferes with my desire to keep simplicity in my life.

What do I mean by that? Well, let’s talk about it.

 

The Western World is Full of Offers

So what do I mean by keeping simplicity in my life? Well, it’s what it sounds like.

I like having a simple life. I’m really a simple guy. I have the things I like to do, and there’s only certain times where I feel I need to buy something.

Heck, I won’t buy anything unless it’s a replacement for something else that’s broken, torn, or somehow wrecked. I have clothes that are fairly old (some are 10 years old!), one of my cars is 20 years old, and when I do listen to music – it’s usually from the 90’s or the 00’s.

Here’s the thing, I’m happy with this stuff.

But, if I was to watch the wedding – I might have thought “Oh, damn. I really need to step up my game! I want something like that!”

Growing up, I was always comparing myself to others. It’s something we all do.

Even this morning, I saw an advertisement for a store I’ve never heard of. It was a very Ikea like place – I think it was called At Home?

Anyway, the ad that was played was like, “Keep up with the seasons by buying all new furniture!”

Keep up with the seasons? Really? Who needs to switch their chairs and sofas that many times?

No one. But society, especially here in western society, would make us think we have to keep up with the Jones’. No, scratch that. The Kardashians!

Why do people behave this way?

Because buying stuff just to buy stuff – aka retail therapy – is nothing more than addiction. Those who participate get a high when the thing is new, but in the end, they don’t want the item anymore and/or, even worse, they end up being in a worse financial situation than they started.

 

Getting rid of Stress with a Simplified Life

So if you find yourself with a lot of stuff in your house you wonder why you bought OR you find it hard to live under your means, perhaps it’s time to not think about buying yourself out of the problem. Instead, perhaps it might be easier to bring more simplicity into your life?

I’m not saying you have to go minimalistic. No, instead I’m suggesting to have less stress in your life. Less clutter. Having the money to buy things you really REALLY want.

Does that sound good?

Well, here’s a few things to think about:

If your house was about to get hit by a tornado or a hurricane and you had a 20 minutes to pack a handful of items, what would they be?

In that same situation, what items would you pack in a suitcase?

If you had to move into a space half the size of what you’re currently in – what would you HAVE to keep?

 

Action Steps

I’ll tell you, when Laila told me she was a minimalist, I wondered what she meant by that. What went into being a minimalist? Later I had the chance to interview a couple of digital nomads including Arne Giske and Gregory Diehl. We found out that being able to live the lifestyle they do requires a minimalistic approach.

Today, I know that the minimalist lifestyle isn’t completely for me. However, it might be for you. Here’s a couple of exercises you can try if you’re wanting to experiment with this lifestyle. If it feels liberating, then maybe it’s a sign to bring more simplicity into your life.

 

  1. For one month, limit the non-essential items you bring into the house to one thing a week. At the same time, go through your house and ask yourself what items you need and love. If you don’t need OR love something, then consider getting rid of that item – you can trash it, sure – but I’d recommend giving it to someone who appreciates it (just like the collectors do with Mike and Frank on American Pickers!) either by giving or selling it.
  2. Also, as I mentioned in a recent post, pay for everything with cash only. This gives you a finite about amount of funds to work with and makes it harder for you to buy on impulse. You learn to appreciate the money you have. Stretch that dollar!

 

Let me know how it works out for you!

surround yourself with good people

Finding Your Success Board – Why It’s Necessary to Surround Yourself with Good People

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Have you ever thought back to a time where you met someone super intriguing? Someone who simply made you feel better about the world? And all you had to do was be near them? Maybe you met them when you were in school and they gave you a certain attention that others didn’t? Perhaps it was a colleague you gave you some career guidance?

Hopefully, you’ve lucked into one of these people in some way in your life.

They’re a complete joy to be with.

 

John Maxwell says that people are like elevators. Some bring you up, and others bring you down.

Personally, I’m all about spending time with people who bring me up. In fact, I try to have a core group of around 5 people in which I bounce ideas and concerns off of on a regular basis.

Why 5? Because Jim Rohn once said that you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

If you’re looking to get somewhere in life or with your business, you need to make sure that those people are people YOU’VE chosen and are not placed there randomly by the universe.

 

YOU have to seek these people out.

So here’s the question – how do you find these people? Well, here’s a few ideas to help you start a process to find these right folks.

 

Define Your Influencers

Here’s the thing. The 5 people on your Success Board – your Influencers – they need to be sought after and chosen by you. Your immediate family members don’t really count because they’re family and you’re stuck with them. There might be some bias there and there’s a good chance they might not have the life that you’re looking to have someday.

So who does that leave? You’d think the rest of the world, but that’s simply not the case. I wish it was as simple as that!

No, what you and I both have to do is have a way of sorting out the folks that we want in our life. We want to find those that take us up, not down.

How do you do that?

By defining a list of characteristics that you want in those people!

If you take the time to define the vision and the attributes of your inner circle, you could discover those folks who embody those attributes are probably not far away from where you’re at today.

When it comes to those that I surround myself with, here’s a list of characteristics that I thought was important.

 

Authentic

No one wins when people try to be someone they’re not. Not the person themselves, and certainly not those that think they’re that certain kind of person. Who you are professionally should be a better representation of who you are, but not completely alien.

 

Intelligent

For me, up til grad school, I knew I always wanted to be around people who had completed their bachelors. The reason I believed I wanted this in my friends and spouse was because for the longest time, academic achievement was how I measured intelligence. (Unfortunately, that’s how it is in most of the world yet today!)

However, when I did get into grad school, I had many huge revelations. One was realizing that there are people who have degrees that aren’t that intelligent (they do whatever they’re told). There’s also those that don’t have degrees who have been super successful in life.

So how do you recognize intelligence? It’s simple. Look for thinkers, dreamers, and people who want to do great things.

 

Creative

There’s a lot of problems in the world that need to be fixed. We need more people who want to fix those issues themselves or be part of a group that’s making great change. Personally, I don’t have time for people who think “someone should do something about that…”. Do you?

 

Growth Mentality

It’s been said that if you’re not growing, you’re dying. Or, if you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backward. Either way you look at it, to move forward you have to grow. And to grow, you have to learn.

When searching for people to be part of my Success Board, I like to find out what they are currently learning about. If they’re not learning about something or aren’t readily willing to share what they’ve learned, they might not be the best folks to work with.

I also like to look for people who aren’t happy with where they’re at in life and are actively trying to be more, earn more, and help more.

 

Aware of Meaningful Current Events

I don’t understand people who live vicariously through others. Watching reality shows has never really been of interest to me. Why? Because I feel that it’s not fair for someone to devote their emotions to an event that doesn’t affect them one way or the other.

When I was younger, I did this way too often. Heck, I’d have a bad week when the Colts lost – but if they won, it’d be a great week! (And of course, those were the weeks where I’d wear a jersey with pride!)

A lot of my friends were the same way about their favorite NFL teams.

However, when they finally won the Super Bowl back in 2007, it got me thinking: how did this affect me personally?

The best response that I came up with was “Well, I guess I can tell future generations that ‘I was there.’” When in reality, I saw it on TV.

Today, anyone can watch that same game on YouTube. It’s not that big of a deal.

What’s going on with the Kardashians or the Royal Family? Who cares? How does watching their life help yours?

What’s going on with your family or the people around you who you care about? What can affect those people? That’s what really matters.

And just for clarity, I’m not saying that you and the folks you surround yourself with should not pay attention to pop culture at all. What I am saying is that we all need to find the things that are interesting to the REAL us. If you’re a bit dorky like I am, then enjoy your Sci-Fi. But ask yourself why you liked that series or movie. Was it worth the time you put into it?

Are you really into music? Why are you into that particular song or group?

These aren’t just questions we should be asking ourselves, but also those who we surround ourselves with.

 

Sense of Humor

One thing that irritates the heck out of me is when folks are constantly promoting a politically correct agenda. If you want to be, that’s great. If you want to be the next Donald Trump, I’m for that too.

But sometimes, you need to look around and see things for what they are and have a chuckle. While I might not have had the same views as George Carlin on a lot of things, I did appreciate his genius in finding the humor in just about everything. And when he did, there was always a bit of truth to it.

There’s a place and time where humor is needed. Heck, even Avengers: Infinity Wars used it for plot gaps!

 

Civilized

As much as I hate to admit that I have certain standards, I do.

I like being a person of the people. I believe that everyone has potential. It’s just that they have to see it in themselves before they can act on it.

So sometimes, I find myself interacting with people who others might think are a bit shady on the surface. But the truth is that if I see they’re trying to be better (see above), then I’ll help them along the way.

However, if they’re not interested in improving themselves, are vulgar for no reason, and just down right crude – I’ll typically not be interested in spending time with that person.

Same thing could be said about how they achieve what they want in life. Are they grateful for what they have or are they trying to knock everyone else down?

Even taking care of themselves. Do they practice good hygiene regularly or only when they have to?

If you have certain standards, why surround yourself with people who don’t? They could easily become a distraction or even worse, a downer!

 

Action Steps

So the above traits are a few simple examples of traits that people in my Success Board have. You might have a longer list than the one above – which is just fine.

In fact, using a list like this can be a great way of finding a future spouse. (It’s how I realized Maria as wife material! However that list was much longer as it was more of an itemized list.)

The sooner you have a list like this, the sooner your subconscious will start seeing disconnects with those who are bringing you down but you just weren’t aware of.

Are you thinking of adding any other traits to your list? Maybe you have already. I’d love to hear your thoughts below!