“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln

This week, I’m officially going to be launching my second eBook entitled 3 Steps to Leveling Up in Manhood.

Why?

Well, for one it’s supplemental info for the most visited post on the New Inceptions blog.

This post is entitled Stages of Manhood: Are You Unfinished? and I just don’t think it’s as deep as it could be.

Two, I’ll admit that there are plenty of coaches out there that help men level up. That said, I think that my story is almost as simple as you can get in making the journey. The way I found Maria is like how most guys go into a store. Go in, find exactly what you want, and get out.

And three, while I could have focused on a resource that isn’t gender specific, I’m a heterosexual guy and to be quite frank, I think that guys have a better chance of successfully learning and teaching this kind of information with and to other men.

If you want to find out more about the resource – it will be up by next week for sure.

In the meantime, I thought I’d put some extra information here that I thought relates very well – to both sexes.

So here we go…

1. Know what’s Important in Life

Many people today (myself included) were told as we were growing up by marketing companies that we need things. The more we saw the ad, the more we probably wanted whatever they were advertising (or at least knew about it). The higher this want was, the more likely we are to buy something – whether we need it or not.

In last week’s post, I briefly talked about Shopping and “Retail Therapy” as a way for people to get a rush.

But, like any beginnings of an addiction, this high is very short lived. And naturally we’ll want more and more of it. Eventually, if it goes unchecked, this addiction can cause us problems in the rest of our life.

So, to deal with this problem, many people believe that the way to solve it is to outearn the problem. This makes a little sense. But is pretty difficult to actually do.

It’s the Relationships, Not the Things

Interestingly, if a person is used to buying themselves into debt at one level, the chances of them changing at a higher income is highly unlikely. Simple truth is that the higher the income a person has, the more they’re probably going to spend on stuff they don’t need.

Whether you’re buying things for yourself or others, this rush always occurs when we’re buying something.

What we really should focus on is what is going to stick with us long term. And what I’ve come to find out is that solid relationships with those that we choose to be in our lives is really the makeup of who we are – not the things.

So if you’re going to spend money, spend money in a way that is investing in yourself and the relationships with others – but not so much that you make yourself poor in the process. We wouldn’t want to be an enabler. (If you are curious about that topic, here’s a resource.)

2. Be Self-Aware of Who You Are And What You Want from Life

Ok, so we learned that money shouldn’t be the total focus in life. And you’ve heard numerous times on the AoL Podcast that being financially wealthy doesn’t measure one’s success.

So if we’re not living to produce money (which, let’s face it, many people do in today’s world), what are we living for?

To find the answer for this question, we need to dig down deep into ourselves. We need to be more authentic – not just to people around us but to ourselves. This is the only way that we’ll be able to find our strengths. When we know what our strengths are, our passion will find us. As we hone our strengths, we start finding our purpose in the world.

I have come to find out that most of us would be much happier if we spent our time living to better ourselves, our lives, and the lives around us. True, having money might be a part of that, but being wealthy is what I really am talking about – and not just monetarily wealthy. I mean the whole shooting match.

The truth of the matter is this: the more compassion we have for ourselves and others (notice I didn’t say just ourselves), the happier of a life we’re going to have. You gotta learn how to give yourself a break when it’s needed, but also know when you need to persevere forward in your journey.

As we go on this journey, we’ll have more and more to add to our life stories. And I’d imagine that you’d probably want your life story to be a best-seller (otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this)… so don’t live the same life as everyone else.

3. Demonstrate Passion and Perseverance for Long-Term Goals

One of the reasons why many of us fail to live our passions, besides working for a paycheck, is that we’re not entirely sure of ourselves when it comes to making long-term goals and decisions. Outside of formal education, most of us have never have really made a long-term goal and stuck with it. So that’s why you could look at your scholastic history as a model of how to do long term goal setting and planning.

Now, here’s a problem. The thing is that formal education never asks us what we want to be when we grow up. They just program us to be a cog in the big plan of society. I’m sure like me, you’ve probably at one point asked yourself “Why do I care what x and y are when 3x + 4y = 35”?

You don’t care, that’s the thing. Formal education teaches most of us what to learn and think so you’ll be a good soldier.

That being the case, we can learn to set goals for ourselves by modeling their process – just not the topics that are taught.

Use Familiar Time Frames to Cut Up Large Goals

So what does that mean? Well, for one, you might want to cut your stretches of time into weeks, 6 weeks, semesters, years, etc. And to be truly honest, don’t expect anything great to take less than a year to get off the ground. Those of us who went to college know that there is a big difference between being a high school senior and a college freshman. (Same could be said about moving from junior high to high school, but many of us can’t remember that far back! Haha.)

So you’re going to have to let yourself have some time in getting acclimated to your surroundings anytime you start something new.

Also, don’t forget about getting things done in a day. Don’t try to get a ton of stuff done, but instead, focus on one to three things that you know you can get done. If you have time afterwards, work on some of that other stuff then.

If you have a bad day, don’t worry about it. Everyone does, and in the grand scheme of things, one bad day isn’t going to ruin your life’s plan. In fact, it might give it a good mini-story.

4. Embrace a Growth Mindset

You know, I’ve always learned and read things just for the heck of it. I used to love finding out about new science related stuff, and filling my head with random facts. In fact, that’s still one of the ways that I spend free time here and there. I’m a reddit addict during my idle time.

In the grand scheme of things, there’s nothing wrong with this. In fact, you being able to be curious is what is going to help you be of service to other people. The more you can learn about various topics related to your strengths and skill set, the more valuable you become to others.

On top of developing your strengths and skills, you also want to be able to develop your social skills. In college, we always talked about how a graduate’s first job is going to be obtained from the skills they have and their GPA.

After they’ve been in the marketplace for a while, their people skills become increasingly more important. There’s two reasons for this. One is because the skill set they developed at college, tend to become outdated within a few years (especially those in STEM related fields) and two, as they get older they’ll be expected to lead more teams.

So that’s why soft skills are so important. Funny enough, this is why the department I got my Masters from at Purdue existed in the first place. The Organizational Leadership and Supervision was in the School of Technology!

Case Study:

Just a note as we’re looking to check out here, here’s a post from Dane Maxwell (known for starting The Foundation) that I believe embodies everything that I’ve discussed here today.

After reading the post, we should be able to see that he hits all 4 of these ways of having a more satisfying life.

1. He Knows What’s Important in Life
2. He Knows Who he is and What he Wants from Life
3. He’s been able to Plan and Achieve Long Term Goals
4. And, he’s been able to Embrace a Growth Mindset

If your goal in life is to be happy and satisfied with who you are and what you do, then I believe that you could learn a lot from studying Dane and his continuing journey.

Action Steps:

This week, if you haven’t already, I want you to start doing some soul searching. Think about not only what’s important in life, but what you want from it. Also, based on what you know about yourself, think about how you might just get there. You might find out that happiness is actually closer than you think.

Also, if you’re nowhere close to your ideal life, start trying to find and get to know people that might be connected to individuals who are. Start investing in those relationships and helping each other get to where you both want to be in life. Start becoming a Linchpin.

Further Study on this Topic:

Wanting to know more about this topic? Here’s a two more resources:

6 Questions to Ask Yourself to Get the Most Out of Life

Tony Robbins: The Day I Became Wealthy